

P.Uthayakumarrun by people committed to reviving time-tested methods of educating and transforming human beings.


P.Uthayakumar
somewhere in IN MALAYSIA: And the dying old pig said to its young breeder, "You have been kind that I am not slaughtered, like all others of my kin, though I know it was because I was carrying a virusB.N1corrupt practices,. I can see that like me you are infected, but you shall be saved, but what you may innocently pass on to others may have variable consequences."
Snort! And the pig fell silent. A VULTURE NAMED MAHATHIR WITH BEST FRIEND LINGAM they say, nibbled on the carcass for a while, and flu away. It took sometime for the young man to come to terms with the event, he fell ill, but recovered. Prophetically, many other people in the town became sickcorrupt practices, some died.
Absurd.
Horrible.
Ø If you have nothing to hide, why hide and create suspicion.
Ø You hide because you fear that disclosure would do more harm than hiding.
Ø The Evidence Act, 1972 says so.
Ø If you are asked to produced something in your possession and you don't produce it on demand, the presumption is that if produced it would go against your interest.
It appears that the Opposition can win in court, but only in Round One!This is a tragic situation because it gives the impression that judgments are farcical and on the whole totally unacceptable. When people lose their faith in the judiciary, then the courts no longer stand a as a bastion for justice.In Anwar’s case, the High Court in respecting natural justice and recognising the amendment to Section 51A, ordered the prosecution “to allow Anwar’s lawyers to inspect CCTV recordings of the alleged crime scene, along with witness statement of the alleged victim, Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan and that of other witnesses as well as doctors’ notes.”
The High Court also ordered the “medical reports on Mohd Saiful from two hospitals – Hospital Kuala Lumpur and Pusrawi Hospital – and other evidence favourable to the defence to be handed over to Anwar.”
This is a very fair judgment considering the fact that this information sought would eventually be made available to the defence during the trial.
If that is the case, and when the amendment to Section 51A allows this, what is the justification in disallowing this vital information to the defence at this stage?
When a person is charged and his freedom is at stake, he deserves to be given every opportunity to prove his innocence.
However, the Court of Appeal had overlooked this very important principle, giving the impression that the court is not concerned with justice and hardly looks at the substantive issues which deserve their critical attention.
Ø When Judge after Judge is found indulging in corrupt practices, amassing wealth, how could we go with your line of reasoning?
Ø There is also blackmailing going on. This particular Judge from Punjab & Haryana High Court who is allegedly being given a clean chit, had threatened that she alone is not involved and if persecuted she would expose all names. Is it not blackmailing?
Ø In my humble opinion, JUDICIARY IS THE CESSPOOL OF CORRUPTION IN THE COUNTRY. IT IS THE FOUNTAINHEAD.
Ø Least educated or qualified people occupy the highest position in judiciary. I am sorry to say that many of Judges do not have basic knowledge of English to read, understand and interpret law.
Ø What we need is a common code of conduct for all public servants, be it bureaucracy, members of legislatures, elected representative, constitutional appointees, and Judges. They must declare their assets every year, criminal record, if any, so on and so forth.
Ø And lastly pardon my saying this, what about Journalists, Newspapers & Electronic Media. You are wise enough to appreciate what I mean. We cannot wait for another sixty years for freedom; it should come to us now, and we would get it.
Ø I have not said anything worse that what you have said for Prashant Bhushan. My views must be published without moderation.
read this exclusive full story story posted by the taxi driver

somewhere in IN MALAYSIA: And the dying old pig said to its young breeder, "You have been kind that I am not slaughtered, like all others of my kin, though I know it was because I was carrying a virusB.N1corrupt practices,. I can see that like me you are infected, but you shall be saved, but what you may innocently pass on to others may have variable consequences."
Snort! And the pig fell silent. A VULTURE NAMED MAHATHIR WITH BEST FRIEND LINGAM they say, nibbled on the carcass for a while, and flu away. It took sometime for the young man to come to terms with the event, he fell ill, but recovered. Prophetically, many other people in the town became sickcorrupt practices, some died.
Absurd.
Horrible.
Ø If you have nothing to hide, why hide and create suspicion.
Ø You hide because you fear that disclosure would do more harm than hiding.
Ø The Evidence Act, 1972 says so.
Ø If you are asked to produced something in your possession and you don't produce it on demand, the presumption is that if produced it would go against your interest.
It appears that the Opposition can win in court, but only in Round One!This is a tragic situation because it gives the impression that judgments are farcical and on the whole totally unacceptable. When people lose their faith in the judiciary, then the courts no longer stand a as a bastion for justice.In Anwar’s case, the High Court in respecting natural justice and recognising the amendment to Section 51A, ordered the prosecution “to allow Anwar’s lawyers to inspect CCTV recordings of the alleged crime scene, along with witness statement of the alleged victim, Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan and that of other witnesses as well as doctors’ notes.”
The High Court also ordered the “medical reports on Mohd Saiful from two hospitals – Hospital Kuala Lumpur and Pusrawi Hospital – and other evidence favourable to the defence to be handed over to Anwar.”
This is a very fair judgment considering the fact that this information sought would eventually be made available to the defence during the trial.
If that is the case, and when the amendment to Section 51A allows this, what is the justification in disallowing this vital information to the defence at this stage?
When a person is charged and his freedom is at stake, he deserves to be given every opportunity to prove his innocence.
However, the Court of Appeal had overlooked this very important principle, giving the impression that the court is not concerned with justice and hardly looks at the substantive issues which deserve their critical attention.
Ø When Judge after Judge is found indulging in corrupt practices, amassing wealth, how could we go with your line of reasoning?
Ø There is also blackmailing going on. This particular Judge from Punjab & Haryana High Court who is allegedly being given a clean chit, had threatened that she alone is not involved and if persecuted she would expose all names. Is it not blackmailing?
Ø In my humble opinion, JUDICIARY IS THE CESSPOOL OF CORRUPTION IN THE COUNTRY. IT IS THE FOUNTAINHEAD.
Ø Least educated or qualified people occupy the highest position in judiciary. I am sorry to say that many of Judges do not have basic knowledge of English to read, understand and interpret law.
Ø What we need is a common code of conduct for all public servants, be it bureaucracy, members of legislatures, elected representative, constitutional appointees, and Judges. They must declare their assets every year, criminal record, if any, so on and so forth.
Ø And lastly pardon my saying this, what about Journalists, Newspapers & Electronic Media. You are wise enough to appreciate what I mean. We cannot wait for another sixty years for freedom; it should come to us now, and we would get it.
Ø I have not said anything worse that what you have said for Prashant Bhushan. My views must be published without moderation.
read this exclusive full story story posted by the taxi driver
TV producers had banned the airhead heiress from wearing a bikini while she is in Dubai shooting the third series of My New BFF.
But within hours she was posing for photos in a skimpy two piece.
Brilliant. Our source says: "Paris had made a big public speech, saying how much she loved the Middle East and respected its culture. But the following day she was prancing around on the beach in her bikini and posing provocatively. Bosses warned her Western tourists have been jailed for flouting the rules."
So now Paris Hilton's Dubai hotel room has been bugged. She was reportedly horrified when bodyguards found a recording device hidden in her private suite. A source working with the 28-year-old socialite told Britain's Daily Express newspaper: "It was some sort of transmitter by all accounts. We are not sure what the device picked up or whom it was transmitting to. But it did leave Paris very jittery." Anyway, I guess the cat is out of the bag now. Paris Hilton is working for the CIA to overthrow governments in oil rich states. Please don't torture her... But she is well trained and ready for it. Click on pictures to enlarge.
Paris Whitney Hilton (born February 17, 1981 in New York City, New York, U.S.) is an American celebutante, singer, actress, model, andbusinesswoman.GutterUncensored.com
She is best-known through the television series The Simple Life. She has appeared in several minor film roles, most notably in the horror film House of Wax in 2005. In 2004 she published a tongue-in-cheek autobiography. In 2006, she released her debut album Paris. Hilton's career pursuits include singing, modeling, acting, writing, and television. As a result of several legal incidents, Hilton served a widely publicized sentence in an L.A. County jail facility in 2007. GutterUncensored.com
Hilton has worked as a model, actress, musician, and businesswoman. According toForbes Magazine, she earned approximately $2 million in 2003–2004, $6.5 million in 2004–2005, and $7 million in 2005–2006. GutterUncensored.com
Parents say they treat and love their kids equally. However, a new study has shown that most people fall into the trap of showing favouritism,
The research, by Julie Fitness, associate professor of psychology at Macquarie University, shows 69 per cent of her sample of 70 could identify the family "favourite" and 80 per cent could identify the "black sheep". "Parents say they treat their children equally. But when you ask people they say ''Of course there was a favourite.'' They take it for granted,” theage.com.au quoted her, as saying. Dr Fitness said the middle child was almost never considered the favourite. The favourites were usually the oldest or the youngest, or the only boy or girl in a family dominated by one sex; or the child who shared a parent''s interests and outlook. "People say, ''Mum always liked her best because she looked like her or shared her interests. Or ''My father didn''t take to me because I wasn''t sporty like him,'' " Dr Fitness said. She said it was often easier for parents to like the child who was like them. They might love their children but not necessarily like all of them or relate well to different temperaments. Parents felt guilty and tried to disguise their preferences. She said adults who considered themselves the black sheep placed themselves on a continuum from feeling not loved or part of the family to being just a little bit different and getting the "raw end of the stick" more often than was fair. For some black sheep the consequences could be lasting, serious and sad. "The family is the primary social unit and if you feel you are not accepted or loved by your parents where does that leave you in this tough world?" she said. Dr Fitness said it could be tough for parents, too. But accepting a child''s difference, and not blaming, was a start to understanding. And having involvement with an extended family was also beneficial. Those respondents who had most involvement with extended family were the least likely to say there had been a favourite or black sheep. The research will be presented at a conference held by the Children''s Family Research Centre at Macquarie University starting today. | |||||||||
Madam Ovary |
![]() |
Dina Zaman writes so she can find answers. A lot of times, she doesn’t. When she has free time, she reads literary fiction or very trashy magazines. Her pet causes are Tony Leung, children’s rights advocacy and HIV/AIDS issues. |
NOV 6 — They are young, hungry, with a displaced sense of humour of the Beavis and Butthead kind. They come in all shapes and sizes, and always looking to "shadow" a public figure, preferably rich and connected, because they’re looking for a shortcut to not … riches, but a commission amounting to maybe RM10,000? RM100,000?
And as one told me recently, he would then spread his "assets" throughout the whole year, by getting sloshed at the Asian Heritage Row, spending time at the mamaks nursing a hangover and trying to talk tough to chicks, and yeah, shadowing another public figure for some small project. And yes, everyone is a potential connection.
Oh yes, these brokers come in all colours. I've met the young Chinese brokers, very eager for the hunt, and very wily. Some are handsome, and some look like upgraded Ah Bengs. I’ve met the Indian ones, with odd accents and flash ties, who have dropped deals here… there… and I end up thinking, sure. And I’m Angelina Jolie.
But it is the Malay brokers who fascinate me and the reason could be simple: I keep attracting these guys. For the life of me, they actually believe I have the contacts, and I don’t. I’m a writer for heaven’s sake. I sleep at 9.30 every night. I’m not important business-wise. But I entertain myself by going to "business meetings" at, the most upmarket, Starbucks, and middle ground, Devis in Hartamas.
“Why don’t you just get a job?” I asked one.
“Ingat keje tu boleh kaya ke?”
We all know you’re not going to get rich easily in Malaysia. You really do need the connections. If you’re a woman, if you have some looks and adjustable morals, you either become a second wife or a kept woman. You can become a corporate high-flier, but if you do not have the patience, or want to brown nose, or even have the smarts to go to the top, it’s not easy to have SOME savings in the kitty. Unfortunately in Malaysia, you need to make deals to gain some respect and money to live on in your old age.
“Are you sure you’re going to get this project?” I frowned.
“Oh I’m VERY close to this (neophyte and small-time) politician and he is the SECOND COUSIN to the director of the board who knows the PA to the CHAIRMAN.”
“Are you sure you’re going to get this project?” I asked again.
“Urm. Kita kena tender dulu…”
“I want to go home now.”
We all know of successful brokers. They’re usually very low key, well at least the ones I know. Their vices? Nice cars. Maybe the odd woman or so. But most of the time, they shun publicity and there’s no theatrics when you talk to them. They fly in and out of the country.
But the small-time brokers — I do not know if they merit pity or disgust. I suppose the former would be more apt, because it’s not easy to crack a deal. Their confidence is shaken when a small deal does not come through, but they have to play the part. They gotta look cool. And in comes an old classmate who has done very well for himself — you think they’re not envious?
The odd thing, despite the gaffes, they actually think they are it. There’s one overweight broker my friends and I know. When he is with his friends, he name drops like anything. He tells everyone he has the most expensive CD player, and he clubs with the "hi-so" (high society).
He has meetings after meetings and no one can find him during work, but because he’s such a smooth talker, he’s still holding a job. And one day we met, because he had access to federal funds which could benefit the shelter I volunteer at.
“You want a 10 per cent cut from the funds if we get the grant from MOSTI?” I squealed.
“I have two wives, Cik Dina. I need to support my family.”
“What you do with your personal life is none of my concern, as well as your budgeting methods. I’m doing all the donkey work, and you want a cut from a grant? This is an NGO OK?”
“Alah Cik Dina…”
I have also met one young Malay broker who I think in the next five years will go very far. He has a Chinese sifu, speaks impeccable English and is well-dressed. When he talks, he articulates his ideas well, and everything is placed on paper. He knows when to talk and when to be silent. One can smell success on him.
However, he is one of the very few. The other brokers I have met ape bad American TV shows when it comes to speech, big dreams and they think waking up at 10am is way too early. And it is sad. After a while you get to know these young men and that despite the showmanship, they are like all of us.
They too want to be admired; they too want to provide for their families. Kalau ada girlfriend, macam mana nak nikah kalau takde harta? And like all men, they do want a decent car. It’s not wrong to want all these. We are human. We have desires.
Can you imagine these young men at 40 years of age, still dreaming of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? Sampai bila nak jadi broker? Of course they know people think little of them. But like us, they have to wake up in the mornings and make a living, however suspect it may be.
The writer is still cringing from her Dungun contractor-admirer ordeal.
your child is suggesting oral sex, according to a new list by NetLingo.com.
Titled ''Top 50 Text Acronyms Parents Should Know'', the list compiled by contains terms that are completely unknown to most people, teenaged or otherwise.
"I swear, I've used the Internet for 13 years, and still insist half of this stuff is either made up or never used," Fox Newsquoted a commenter on online aggregator site Digg as saying.
And a cell-phone expert- Sascha Segan of PC Magazine-agrees: "I honestly have to say I have never seen most of these terms. It looks like a lot of them come from online sex chat rooms, and not just any chat rooms, but sadomasochistic ones."
Some of the very specific terms on the list, even include terms like "NIFOC" that means "Nude In Front Of The Computer", and "ILF/MD" that apparently means "I Love Female/Male Dominance".
NetLingo.com is a Web site devoted to collating and explaining online jargon, and had compiled the list only a couple of years back, and each term listed there clicks through to a page indicating its origin.
"This is stuff that's being used all across the Internet, in instant messaging, in chat rooms, in text messaging. There are spikes in the amount of usage for each acronym, and regional variations," said Erin Jansen, founder ofNetLingo.com.
While Jansen's not claiming that every teenager is using each acronym, but she insists that all of them are things that parents should be aware of.
"It's a good overview of what parents ought to be aware of, even if their kids aren't going to these weird chat rooms, because kids pick them up anyway. It's like when I was young and my friends and I looked up dirty words in the dictionary," Jansen says.
Segan, however, isn't convinced that a middle-school-aged teen would soon be fluent in bondage terminology.
However, some of the terms are accurate, chiefly the ones having to do with the presence of parents in the room, or "parent or mom over shoulder".
"CD9, POS, MOS -- those are real. But a lot of the other stuff is just laughably out of date," he said.
NetLingo.com does have a longer list of commonly used text terms, which is more useful.
"That's the one parents should be looking at. If parents don't know those, it doesn't mean they're old -- it just means they're not tuned into Internet culture," said Segan.

GOATMILK continues its original and exclusive month long series entitled “Muslims Talking Sex” featuring diverse Muslim writers from around the world discussing a gamut of topics in their own unique, honest and eclectic voices.

The Joy of Muslim Sex
Why? Because we’re tired of reading about tilths and whatnot. The language Muslims use to talk about sex needs updating – even if we already know what the score is in private. This is a working document and relevant suggestions grounded in orthodoxy will be included.
GETTING KINKY
- Sexual love is explicitly referred to as part of God’s grace and as a sign of God in itself (Qur’an 30:21). It’s a form of worship to fuck.
- Sex is not merely for procreation, but specifically also for pleasure (unlike many non-Muslim schools of thought, which note specific timings and restrictions upon sex.
- There are only two things off-limits between consenting adults: anal sex (unless one subscribes to select Shi’a schools of thought[1]) and sex whilst menstruating (for safety reasons). And this is rooted in completely logical, hygienic foundations. Everything else goes; this would mean that BDSM, role-play, sex outdoors and all other varieties of kinky sex, for instance, are not off-limits[2].
- Foreplay is obligatory. This is widely known and de rigueur. There are reams of works devoted to the fact that men cannot approach women with solely their own needs in mind i.e. (the Kama Sutra has nothing on Ghazzali).[3] The Qu’ran commands men to put the sexual needs of the woman first[4] .
- The best of you (men) is the best of you who treats his wives – canonical thought. I interpret this as those men who are best able to go down on and give pleasure to their wives. We know this is doable because of hadith suggesting the use of musk after cycles, indicating that oral sex was always on the menu.[5]
- Sex in any position is acceptable – missionaries are not where the buck stops. The best positions for achieving the maximum amount of pleasure are preferred.
- Any time is acceptable. I don’t think this means whilst the Adhan is going off however.
- If a man fails to live up to his conjugal rights, this is grounds enough for divorce. Yes, you read that right – if he’s awful in the sack, let’s get it on with the Talaq.
CULTURAL STIGMAS, ACTUAL REWARDS
- There is no Original Sin in Islam. Eve (Hawa) never sexually tempted Adam and is therefore not responsible for the downfall of Man. There is thus no sense of repression or of guilt attached to sexual acts, which are instead viewed as beautiful and pleasurable.
- Shyness: asking frank questions about religion is essential. This is explicitly the case with sex education which is an essential part of growth. Bees and Birds and staid euphemisms which adults use to refer to around children are somewhat irrelevant yet still culturally endemic. But in reality, taboos are strongly discouraged leading to sin and repression in and of themselves because of the rise of STDs, unwanted pregnancies etc[6].
- Moreover, you actually get blessings for legal sex ergo- again, no shameful connotations attached (no, we don’t need to have sex through a sheet, nor are we inspected or have to endure Mikvah’s upon completion of cycles). Why? To counterbalance the fact that illicit sex (i.e. adulterous) accrue negative vibes[7]
- Anglo-Saxon concepts of males/females/ wives/husbands do not have echoes in the bedroom – all such terms having traditionally derogatory etymologies which do not correspond with gender neutral terms in Islam
- There’s no stigma to divorce. By that I mean the traditional Western connotations of divorcees as having been tainted, barren or problematic do not apply to Muslims. We are still whole, we have just been through a rough time essentially.
- Hermits (celibates etc) are discouraged from the laity upwards on the grounds that it unnaturally represses human instincts
MAKING IT LEGAL: THE ‘AWESOME COVENANT’ [8]
- A Union is defined as Consenting adults in a contractual agreement between two partners – different from culturally prevalent ideas of marriage in that it can be performed by anyone, with very few addendums including a dowry and witnesses. This is not an endorsement of Mut’ah or Orfi (short-termism), this is to say lets go public about dating and treat long term relationships like marriage – the same way its done in the west with common law marriages. When we start dating seriously, we don’t intend to end it early, do we?
- We do not have archaic notions of contraception, and are thus not theoretically constrained by outdated birth control or STD prevention ideas. This means we regard Rhythm methods as really bizarre etc
- Cougars are perfectly acceptable if not de rigueur in traditional thought
- There should be at least three months grace period between having sex with another (contractually obligated) partner – to avoid heartache, allow time for possible reconciliation or indeed, possible pregnancies. Interestingly it takes three months for an AIDS test nowadays… go figure
- A man and woman (except family members) are not to be alone in the same room unless publicly having consented to be together.
- Chasteness (not to be confused with virginity, which is completely irrelevant considering many people get abused in the Muslim world) is important -serial monogamy is fine where promiscuity is frowned upon.
Notes
I must admit, the idea of Muslim marriage as stipulated in Orthodox terms is extraordinarily different (i.e. more flexible/profound) to the desi/ayrab kitsched out normative cultural versions of its practice. A cursory glimpse at the dire marital questionnaires people are encouraged to fill out speak to extraordinarily limited understandings of what goes into marriage as well as a limited grasp of the philosophy behind these questions and why they need to be asked.
What is a union after all? There are orthodox schools of thought which note that common law marriages are actually marriages (i.e. where the couple live together, have children but have had no ceremony in the traditional understanding of the sense). At the orthodox heart of the Muslim Union lies several elements which center on the social contract between the couple and society. How it’s made public is through the mechanism of a number of witnesses; an imam need not be there, yet any person who officiates should. A formal understanding of the dowry is all that’s required. And in our family, dowries are usually promises, gifts of qur’an or significant tokens.
Instead, Muslims have adopted Anglo-Saxon words such as husband or wife – terms with sexist etymologies to eschew the more dire/politically correct ‘partner’ terms – as the language simply is inadequate. In fact, the lexicon, the philosophy and the meanings behind all that we take as symbolic for marriage have begun to dissipate – what we’re left with are gaudy ceremonies resembling cattle markets awash with glitter, tinsel, tacky food traditions, bizarrely subordinate women having sweat-meats stuffed in mouths, parents agog at giving children away, mahr agreements reduced to gold-digging glee. It’s a mockery of the concept which ought to have been rooted in spiritual underpinnings from the off. And nowhere to be found is the most important criteria for choosing an equal – a sense of god consciousness or Taqwa. Instead, from the get-go the relationship is relegated to appeasing status, in-laws, material wealth in the form of ballrooms and numbers of guests. I fish for content in such notions and struggle to find love or simplicity. It’s the social contract distorted out of relevance and poignancy.
No wonder so many marriages now have lost what it is which makes them tick. I don’t get a sense of the divine in attending them these days at all. Then there’s the idea that it is somehow the complete opposite of dating in itself – but do we even know what to date means? Orthodox Muslim Unions are more logical and adaptable to reality than we’d think. Added to this the theoretical ease with which sex fully takes on the meanings it should, unions can once again become incredible.
[2] Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) had talked about ‘al-bikr wa liaabiha’ [the virgin and her saliva], which means they understood the importance of French kissing long before the French did.
[3] Surah Al Baqarah = a verse talking about the woman’s rising pleasure. It’s an order to the man to give the woman the right to have pleasure — it orders the man to give the woman foreplay and also to get the wife to have sex repeatedly and to not wait for the woman to ask because sometimes she’s too shy to ask
[4] “Verse 223 of Al-Baqara also mentions foreplay,” Qutb says, quoting: “‘Your wives are a tilth for you, so go into your tilth when you like, and do good beforehand for yourselves, and be careful [of your duty] to Allah, and know that you will meet Him, and give good news to the believers.’ “It says ‘wa qaddimo li anfosikom’ [and do good beforehand for yourselves]. The letter waw [and] means that the act and what happens before it have to go together. But then wait, it also says for yourselves, and science has proven that foreplay has a positive impact on the man, too. The excitation causes the pineal gland to secrete nitric oxide (NO3), a very precious and essential chemical that the brain secretes frugally but that helps channel the blood flow to the genitals, causing erection and arousal in both males and females,” she says.
[5] ‘A’isha reported: A woman asked the Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) how he should wash herself after the menstrual period. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Take a cotton with musk and purity yourself, and the rest of the hadith was narrated like that of Sufyan.
[6] A’ishah, the wife of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, made this clear: “Blessed are the women of the Ansar (the citizens of Madinah). Shyness did not stand in their way seeking knowledge about their religion.”
[7] Hadith: The Prophet once remarked that a man is to be rewarded for sex with his wife, and when some of his surprised listeners wondered how could a person be rewarded for satisfying his own desire, the Noble Prophet said, ‘ Do you not see that if he were to satisfy it in a prohibited manner he would be committing a sin? So if he satisfies it in a lawful manner he will be recompensed’
[8] ‘…an awesome covenant’ An-Nisaa:21
you cannot believe the ridiculous notions muslims have abt marital intimacy (through a sheet, no nudity etc.)could u comment on the concept of a wive not refusing her husband sex.thanks again, enjoyed this frankness!
Great topic & article. The language was a bit… colloquial, but I get it, it goes with the subject & breaking of barriers. I like it.
In addition to the above commenter’s suggestion, you could also add commentary on masturbation — its permissibility before marriage, to avoid zina, and within marriage. (although some slight inaccuracies and assumptions regarding oral sex), but ruwayda should also talk about the permissibility of sex with slave girls, permissibility of bigamy (without even telling the first wife), wife required to give her husband sex, and temporary marriage for sex practices (which many wahhabi arab sunnis also practice discretely through various fatwas and for the most part have grounding in orthodox law) which will make the same liberal chic crowd hooting about the openness of orthodox islamic sex cringe because it infringes on their sense of leftist humanism
so before poo-pooing away all of the victorian-esque or persian adaptations muslims have brought into the original arab-recorded orthodox islam (which muslims assume is the “correct” way to practice islam, but which ironically is also filled with many biases and cultural quirks that developed over time due to linguistic evolution), consider that cultural variabilities are not all necessarily sexist or biased or bad, there are things offset through today’s preferred heuristic interpretations of islam due to ethnocentrism or cultural malaise that many western muslims would consider to be a positive influence in jurisprudence, whether orthodox or not
p.s.
i am a heterodox muslim and an ardent follower of shaikh abdul qadr gilani, may Allah SWT be pleased with him, hence being a member of the Qadri Brotherhood, something which most western muslims seem to know nothing about when they debate endlessly about orthodox versus unorthodox
80% of the world’s muslims are like me – only 20% of the world debates orthodox vs. unorthodox issues anyways – we the sufis have occupied ourselves with more relevant things such as twirling around in circles, wandering into random caves and attempting to connect with God, maintaining shrines, and reciting naaths on 12th rabbiul awal where we decorate our homes with green lights in honor of the birth and raising of prophet Mohammad PBUH from the shackles of our confined and limited dimension
editors note
also, author takes too many liberties assuming what is being implied by certain discourse
there is a point to be made for metaphorical references, but taking huge liberties like “french kissing before the french” is a bit much and detracts from the potential value of the article
I’m concerned that you voice lack of male technique as a grounds for divorce. That is very unprofessional. If technique or manner is lacking, there are alternative ways to address this. And a relationship should not be based on sex alone.
Otherwise, a good article that is certainly needed to dispel strange notions that muslims have regarding sex.
what do you mean by dating? I don’t really think it’s something to encourage though I do agree that we need to be honest about it. It’s a fact of life.
and in regards to: ‘A man and woman (except family members) are not to be alone in the same room unless publicly having consented to be together.’
what counts as consent?
just wondering.